How to keep texting my boyfriend? How often should I text him

Should I Text Him? (Quick Answer)

It depends. No one can tell you if it is right to send him a message. However, you should NOT do so if he is either toxic, manipulative, or abusive. Start or continue a text conversation when you are assured about the consequences.

Messaging and analyzing the other party’s replies is one way to find out if he likes you. But such purposes might not be healthy to fire up a convo. You always need to make sure that “communication” is the main goal, and he is also open to it.

14. Do you need to vent?

    “There’s no harm in wanting to get something off your chest,” says Palmer. If you’re upset about something, the move is to always express how you’re feeling—once you’ve had a chance to organize your thoughts. But don’t expect a reply, she adds.

    This is a great opportunity to gauge where you stand with someone, says Palmer. Their response will tell you everything you need to know about how seriously they take your feelings. If they answer, take what you’ve written to heart, and want to work things out, great.

    But if they disregard what you’re saying or straight-up ignore you, then you probably don’t need to spend any more time texting them at all.


    5. Have you already texted them today?

      If so, put down your phone.

      Unless the two of you text back and forth a lot and regularly spam each other with funny tweets or memes you come across during the day, there’s no reason to send text after text.

      Spector’s okay with a double text on occasion, but if you’ve already sent numerous texts that have gone unanswered, they’re probably busy and haven’t seen them. Or, they have seen them and haven’t had a chance to answer yet, or they have no intention of answering you at all. Either way, this is the perfect opportunity to take a hint, says Spector, and back off a little.

      She’s not saying you can NEVER send multiple messages to this person, but a long string of texts can feel overwhelming, especially if you’re just getting to know each other. Instead, Spector says, stick to one message at a time and ease them into your texting habits the way you’d ease into any other part of the relationship.

      If you have a really strong urge to text someone a hilarious meme you just scrolled past, text it to your mom.

      Should You Send Links To Your Partner?

      The short answer: Not all the time. "During work hours, sending texts and links may feel like one more thing to do," Carver says. Martinez agrees, saying, "Cute and funny links are OK, but don’t inundate them with it. [But] if you come across something that is an inside joke, or that you know they will really like, send it along."

      6. Are You Asking Yourself If You Should?

      Well hello, Captain Obvious! Yes, I know this question is clearly on your mind. But here’s the truth, if you have to ask, the answer is always no. Please keep in mind this isn’t about being right or wrong.

      This is more about the reason that you’re hesitating, anxious or worried about sending it.

      When those types of emotions or anxious thoughts are present. Its usually an indication that you have some kind of thought or subconscious belief that is fear based. And because of that, the answer is no, don’t hit that send button. Let me clarify further.

      Though the real answer is you should text him if you genuinely want to. And can do so confidently without any expectations for a specific outcome.

      The truth is when you really like a guy, very, very, few women can send a text and not have any expectations around the outcome of it.

      Why You Shouldn’t Message Him First

      Most women I know, (I’ve been there too) if they send a text, and he doesn’t text back, or it doesn’t go the way you’d  hoped. Can’t just shake it off like nothing happened.

      Instead, you end up feeling crushed, disappointed and blaming yourself for doing something wrong. Spinning in fear and anxiety and beating yourself up. Frantically looking for all the reasons that he’s not into you, that you’re not good enough, attractive enough, etc.

      I say yes these are modern times and it shouldn’t matter. Yet the reality is, that more often than not, it does matter. So if you have any doubt in your mind, just let it be. Let him come to you.

      Then instead of texting him, take a look inward. At the underlying cause of that anxiety and fear behind your doubt.

      The healing of that fear is the foundation of your ability to date with confidence.

      It’s the foundation to your radiance and irresistibility to life, love and attracting a quality man.


      Texting is a form of communication, but to master this particularly tricky form it’s important that you discuss how much you two are going to text each other. I know this might sound ridiculously uptight, and he might ask if you’re “for real” if you tell him that you feel as though you should both talk about how often you should text each other. But talking about it goes a long way to ironing out all the frustrations that texting is fraught with. It means that you’re both on the same level and know your boundaries.

      For example, if you don’t want to be texted while you’re with friends, letting him know will ensure that you avoid conflict when he asks if you’re okay before phoning for the police to find you because you were too busy to get back to him. Just talk to him about it! It isn’t difficult.

      RELATED:   Should I Break Up With My Boyfriend?

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      11 Warning Signs He’s Pulling Away From You (Exact Ways To Tell)

      Next 150 Cute Good Morning Texts For Him (To Make Him Smile)

      When Is It Safe to Text Him?

      There are moments where you do not need to overthink your move. Yes, messaging him CAN be safe and require no strategic conflict. Below you see examples of circumstances where written communication is a good idea.

      None of You Wants to Play Games

      Ignoring, ghosting, or leaving the other party on reading are all toxic behaviors. So, if your crush, boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend does such things, rethink your actions. However, if he takes your messages seriously (without playing games), texting could help both of you set things rolling—maybe again.

      You Have Not Been in the Blue (Or Left on Reading)

      “Being is the blue” is when you are the only texter, and his replies are as short as possible. If that is the case, it is best to avoid any further attempts because he is telling you that he is not interested in you. But if your crush, bf, or ex takes the time to write back detailed messages, you are good to go.

      He Did Not Block You or threatened to Do So

      This one might sound obvious. But some actually continue pushing a conversation even after they get blocked or banned. So, it is only safe to send him a text or SMS when you are assured he is into talking to you—or at least wants to hear you out.

      How to Stop Overthinking Texting Him

      Most of the time, the rush of emotions is not because of the message you are about to send. It is about you and how you feel about yourself. Sometimes, you overthink texting him because you are not confident about what you want to say or why you want to start a convo. So, clarifying your intentions would eventually stop the overthinking process.

      Ask yourself the following questions before texting him:

      • Why do I want to talk to him?
      • What will I do if he does not reply?
      • Do I want him to prove a point to me?
      • Is he trying to avoid me?
      • Am I the only one who texts?
      • Am I used to his ignorance?

      If you know the answer to the above questions, you are ready to send that message without the need for a “Should I Text Him Quiz.” But if you don’t, it is best to stop overthinking because texting is already not an option.

      Part 2 – When you just started dating him

      5. Text him when it suits YOU

      A man needs space. Both during the dating phase, b

      A man needs space. Both during the dating phase, but also in a relationship.

      When a man doesn’t get this, he will tell you that he wants to take things slow.

      You can simply avoid this by continuing to do the things you did before you started seeing him.

      Don’t instantly change your life and stop doing your hobbies, hanging out with your friends, and other things you like just to be with him.

      I know it’s not always easy to take things slow when you really like a guy, but it is absolutely necessary for a good relationship.

      Make sure you stick to your own schedule, and that you only call/text/message him when it suits you.

      • Are you at work? Leave your mobile in your bag
      • Are you out with friends? Focus on them (and not on your phone)

      In other words, only contact him when it works for you. This will ensure that he will like you more and that you keep your boss and friends happy.

      6. Don’t text him just to chat with him

      Again, when you like each other it’s alluring to c

      Again, when you like each other it’s alluring to constantly exchange messages.

      He will like this (at the beginning), but a man may suddenly think:

      “Things are going too fast for me, I better end it before it gets worse.”

      So even when he likes that you contact him just to chat, at any given moment he will wonder whether this is what he wants.

      Then two things can happen:

      1. He will end things immediately.
      2. He says he wants to take it slow.

      Both are not good.

      So during the dating phase, avoid texting him just to chat.

      And now you might think?

      “But Tim, what should I text him then?”

      Simple: respond to him if he has sent you a message, or if you want to ask him out on a date.

      During the dating phase, you should communicate as men do: By a way of exchanging information.

      If you have been out on a date with him (it doesn’t matter whether it’s the first/second/x date) – you can text him to tell him you had a great time.

      But apart from that, you want to avoid sending him messages just to text.

      Because if you text him all the time you’re giving off the vibe that you have a lot of free time (not being busy), and don’t have cool things going for you in your life – and those are all very unattractive qualities that you don’t want him to think you have.

      7. If you don’t know what to send him, don’t send him anything

      Do you know your grandmother’s advice – when

      Do you know your grandmother’s advice – when you’ve got nothing good to say, don’t say anything?

      The same is true for texting when you are dating. If you don’t know what to send him, don’t send him anything.

      Men want clarity – especially when you just started seeing each other.

      So remember, when you think: “what should I text him?” – Then don’t send him anything.

      8. Why there is no reason to panic when you haven’t heard from him for two or three days

      Suppose a guy texts you every day, and then sudden

      Suppose a guy texts you every day, and then suddenly you don’t hear anything from him for two days. Normally, this doesn’t mean anything.

      So just relax because there is no reason at all to become insecure or to panic.

      He is probably just busy.

      Or something important has happened in his life and he’s just focused on other things.

      The absolute worst thing you can do is to send him another message, asking him why he’s not responding. Then you’re pretty much done and can forget about seeing him.

      There could be plenty of reasons why he hasn’t responded to you for a few days

      And if you then send him a message like:

      “Hey, why are you not responding?”

      He will think:

      “Great. If she is already this needy while we are just dating and immediately panics when I don’t contact her for a few days, what would it be like when we are in a relationship?”

      Because a man assumes that a woman hides her bad habits and needy characteristics as much as possible during the dating phase (this is what he has learned from his previous relationships).

      So just let relax, focus on other things in your life, and wait patiently.

      9. Do you really want to contact him?

      I recently talked about this with a friend of mine

      I recently talked about this with a friend of mine, she told me that the guy she was dating for a while suddenly stopped responding to her.

      Then I asked her?

      Do you genuinely like him?

      She said:

      Well… not really…

      So I will give you the same advice I gave her.

      Because suppose you don’t really like him that much, then why are you asking yourself whether you should text him or not?

      It is kind of crazy when you think about it…

      Because some women completely panic when they haven’t heard from a guy for a few days, even when they don’t really like him.

      As a result, they want this guy even more and will just try harder to get him.

      Purely because he hasn’t been in touch for a while.

      Do you get it?

      So when he has been silent for some time, you must first ask yourself whether you really like him or not.

      If that is not the case, you don’t have to worry about whether you should text him or not. The best thing you can do in this case is to move on with your life.

      It’s like a sign that you can now focus your time on someone you actually like.

      ◈ Sexy Texts to Make Him Think About You All Day ◈

      Photo credit:
      Photo credit:
      1. Want to give me a call later? I want to tell you about these naughty thoughts I keep having.
      2. Let’s play hooky together tomorrow. We could even spend the entire day in bed.
      3. I can tell it’s going to be a long day. How about you come over later and we can unwind together?
      4. I keep replaying the way you touched me last night over and over in my mind.
      5. I have a present for you. It’s in my bedroom; remind me to give it to you the next time you come over.
      6. My mouth is watering just thinking about tasting your lips again.
      7. I’ve been thinking about getting into yoga. Will you watch me some time and let me know how my form is?
      8. My bed feels way too big for just me to sleep in alone.
      9. I’ve got so much tension everywhere…I think you need to give me a full-body massage.
      10. Just bought some gorgeous lingerie. Mind if I put on a fashion show for you soon?
      11. I can’t stop thinking about you…I can hardly keep my hands off myself.
      12. How do you like your coffee? I need to know so I can have it ready for you the next time you spend the night with me.
      13. Brr! It’s so cold outside today. Wish you were here to warm me up.
      14. I want you right now.
      15.  I’m a little drunk, a little horny, and all alone.
      16. It got so hot in my room last night, that I had to take off all my clothes to sleep. Can you imagine that?
      17. Is there anything you’re craving for dinner? Maybe if you’re lucky, I’ll make it for you.
      18. I think I might go bikini shopping today. Mind if I send you pictures and get your opinion?
      19. There’s an empty spot in my bed with your name on it.
      20. I can’t imagine a better evening than you, some wine, and maybe a long shower together.
      21. I promise to be by your side always, preferably under you or on top.
      22. Right now, I want to feel your hands all over my body.
      23.  I have a plan for the evening. Do you want a naked bear hug, yes or yes?
      24. Pleasing myself while thinking of you is quickly becoming one of my new favorite pastimes
      25. Did you cast a spell on me or something? I keep having these dirty dreams about you…
      26. If you come to see me tonight, I’ll give you 69 reasons to spend the night with me.
      27. I’ve got something to show you. It’s a surprise, and you’re going to have to undress me to find it.
      28. I’ll invite you over on one condition: you may not keep your hands to yourself. In fact, you need to tell me exactly where you’re going to put them.
      29. On the count of three, let’s both say what we’re thinking about. One . . . two . . . I really want to be naked with you right now!
      30. I got eight hours of sleep last night in preparation for the rager that I’m preparing to have with you starting at 8 p.m. this evening.

      2. Hes Nervous Too

      You might also forget that he’s probably nervous too, especially if he likes you. So if you’re wondering should I text him, then he’s probably asking himself the same question.

      If things seem a bit awkward at first when you begin texting, keep this point in mind and allow things to develop naturally instead of worrying that he isn’t into you. Over time, you’ll learn to read some tone and emotion from the texts, such as knowing whether a one word response is typical for him or if it’s an indicator something is wrong. If one or both of you are feeling nervous, then it’s probably a good idea to hold off on sending the dirty text messages or sexting him something really explicit until you know each other better.

      8. Initiate to Show Interest

      When learning how to flirt with a guy over text, keep in mind that you shouldn’t make him initiate every conversation, since it’s easy for your crush to assume you aren’t into him and you’re too nice to say so.

      If you’re wondering how often should you text him, then just go with the ‘half time rule’. The half time rule just means that you should initiate texting him about half the time.

      After all, you do still want him to start conversations as well so you feel desired. You won’t always achieve a perfect 50/50 split on texting first, since life, schedule changes, and stress often get in the way. Simply make sure it feels like you’re making the effort, and be upfront if you’re going to hit periods where you aren’t able to text as much. You don’t want to leave him wondering whether you like him or not after you went through the initial trouble to get him to like you.

      ☝️ How often should a guy text you? ☝️

      Photo credit:
      Photo credit:

      As much as he can. I wish I could tell you in an easy way but if someone loves you, they will not sit idly and will want to talk with you as much as they can. But that doesn’t mean they should send you texts after texts and not give you enough space to breathe. Nobody likes that much clinginess. If someone is into you they will try to text you at random moments and create spontaneous topics, just out of nowhere to have a chance to talk with you. They should talk with you for as long as you need to. Knowing someone better is a pretty time-consuming task and that cannot happen when you are talking less.

      The more guys text you, the friendlier they will become with you. And when that happens, you will know each other likes, hobbies, boundaries, dreams, goals, and other things easily. They should text you in the morning and in the evening, they should text you when you are out somewhere with your friends and they should text you to know how you are doing at any random time of the day.

      If they text you a lot, it means they really like you. By doing that, you will know that you are on his mind, that is why he starts texting you. He finds you desirable and would want your company.

      By analyzing the frequency of text messages, you can have an idea about guys and their intentions. If he is a thoughtful person and deeply cares for you, he will text you any chance he gets. In the morning or during the day, he might be interested in knowing you much better or he may have plans to see you later on. If a guy likes you, he will ask you many questions about yourself and would always have something to talk about. But most importantly, he will try to appreciate you as much as he can.

      So, a guy should text you every now and then during the day and should keep the flow of the conversation going. He should text you about his day or ask about yours, he should discuss everything with you. Whether he needs an opinion or has something to think about, he should always run it by you. That way not only your connection and bond will get much stronger but you will ideally become like-minded partners in the future.

      Bear in mind his work schedule

      If he has said that he can’t text much – if at all – when he’s at work, respect it and don’t text him. Otherwise, it really is too much. It’s not that he doesn’t want to text you, it’s just that he can’t. If, however, you don’t listen and insist on texting him, you’re probably going to send a few follow-up texts asking where he is when he doesn’t reply. After a few weeks, this can get super annoying. Don’t be a pest!

      Claudia Cox Claudia is the creator of Text Weapon, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She is passionate about modern communication and loves helping people improve their relationships through flirty texting. To read more by Claudia, visit Text Weapon. Don’t forget to signup for the free Texting Club trial with over 300 messages. You can also hit her up on Twitter.

      How to Know if You Should Text Him

      via:  Unsplash / Thought Catalog

      via: Unsplash / Thought Catalog

      Should I text him? Maybe I should wait. But if I wait, he may think I’m not interested. But if I talk to him now, he may think I’m too interested.

      Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Those pre-text mental battles are very common.

      Instead of getting too deep into your own head, ask yourself the following questions before texting. Eventually, you’ll become a bona fide text wizard able to cast spells on the hearts of your crushes with just a few swipes of your thumb.

      Here is how to know if you should text him:

      1. Have You Met Him?

      via: / Tirachard

      via: / Tirachard

      Nine times out of ten, texting a stranger out of nowhere is a bad move. Even if you got his number from a mutual friend, he might be a little weirded out to receive a text from someone he’s never met. Put yourself in his shoes. 

      As a rule of thumb, you should wait until you’ve at least had a quick IRL conversation before you start blowing up his phone. That way he can put a face to the text. Even if he’s a single guy looking for love, receiving a faceless text may drive him away.

      If you absolutely must text him before meeting him, make it clear how you got his number and how he might know you, and you may want to acknowledge that you know that texting out of the blue is a little…unorthodox.

      “Hey this is weird, but ___ gave me your number. My name is ___, I loved your band the other night.”

      Ideally, you should have a reason to text him beyond confessing your undying love — even if it’s not actually a real reason. You could ask about a homework assignment or straight-up just tell him you think he’s hot. Either way, have a reason for your text. Don’t confuse him.

      2. Are You Clearheaded?

      via: / Bruce Mars

      via: / Bruce Mars

      Alcohol and phones go together like olives and ice cream aka don’t do it. After a few drinks, shooting a drunk text or two or twenty may seem like a brilliant plan, but it rarely is. If you’re not sober, don’t send it. You need to be on your A-game.

      Being clearheaded doesn’t just mean being sober! Did you just break up with your ex for the last time? Are you in a vulnerable state of mind? Recognizing your mindset is important when you’re wondering, if you should text him.

      If you’re not positive that sending the text is a good idea, sleep on it. Most of the time, that super urgent text can wait until you’ve thought it over.

      3. Will He Respond Positively?

      via: / Sơn Bờm

      via: / Sơn Bờm

      Before texting someone, always put yourself in their shoes. Would you want to receive this text right now? Context matters when it comes to texting.

      A great time to text someone out of the blue is when something reminded you of them. Maybe you just saw a movie that had an actor that looks like them. Maybe you just ate at a restaurant you know they love. Those types of texts almost always land because it’s clear that you had a legitimate motivation for sending them.

      Often, mistake texts happen because you’re texting to satiate your own needs. Maybe you just need to get something off your chest. Maybe you’re crushing hard and you just have to say something or you’ll explode. Maybe you’re wondering why men pull away and you want answers.

      Ask yourself whether you’re texting for a reason or if you just feel the need for a human connection at that point in time. If it’s the latter, call or text a friend or family member for now, and then text him when you’re not feeling so vulnerable.

      And The Role Of Actual Phone Calls

      Texting is all well and good, but when it comes to an actual conversation with your partner, pick up the phone. "In-depth subjects should be verbalized to avoid miscommunication of feelings," Howard-Blackburn says. Tessina agrees. "It’s lovely to send a few sweet thoughts in the morning and evening, but be careful that it doesn’t take the place of phone calls," she says. "Hearing each other’s voices is more intimate than texting."


      Cindi Sansone-Braff, relationship coach and psychic medium

      Shamyra Howard-Blackburn, LCSW, social worker

      Melinda Carver, relationship coach

      Rob Alex, M.Msc. co-creator of Sexy Challenges and Mission Date Night

      Nicole Martinez, Psy.D., LCPC, psychologist and life coach

      Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., marriage and family therapist

      Brooke Christian, founder of Flirty Girl

      This article was originally published on


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