Content of the material
- The art of Fingering
- The Truth about Fingering
- 4. Work your way in
- Find her erogenous zones
- Every woman is different, every zone is unique
- Warm her up
- 1. It’s More Than Sticking Your Finger In and Out
- Explore her clitoris
- Let’s Talk About Sex
- Internal Anatomy
- 1 Vagina
- 2 G-Spot
- 3 A-Spot
- 4 Cervix
- How To Finger Her To Squirt
- Learn How Women Finger Themselves
- Bring more pleasure to the bedroom with fingering
- Fingering is a great part of foreplay
- Positioning advice
- Recent Posts
The art of Fingering
When it comes to sex, every aspect is important. However, there are a couple of things that seem to get ignored time and time again. Fingering is one of them. This isn’t to say that many people are avoiding the act, but many of them aren’t hitting the nail on the head.
The right pair of hands can make for mind-blowing orgasms; all you need to know is how to create them. It’s not as hard as it sounds. In this guide, you’re going to learn everything you need to know about how to finger. More importantly, you’ll learn how to make her come back for more.
- The Truth about Fingering
- Fingering 101: 16 Steps to Finger
- The 6 Common Fingering Mistakes You Need to Avoid
The Truth about Fingering
Before we get to how to finger, you need to understand why fingering is essential in sex. Most people want their partners to achieve an orgasm. Actually, all people want their partner to reach orgasm.
But, the truth is, many women struggle with orgasming. This isn’t due to a lack of trying; however, most women do not orgasm from vaginal stimulation. In other words, they need to use a different method to reach orgasm.
This is where fingering plays a crucial role. Because most women do not orgasm through vaginal stimulation, fingering provides the clitoral stimulation women need. With fingering, the odds your partner will reach a climax are higher.
Fingering gives intense and focused stimulation that other sex acts lack. So the truth about fingering is very simple: it hits the spot.
4. Work your way in
So, now you know you need to slowly build up the intensity. But you also should be working your way from the outside in, towards the clitoris. It can help to conceptualise the clitoris as a sort of bullseye. You can being by stroking the outer edges of that target – the thighs and lower stomach, for example. This can all be done with your fingers – the sensation should be light and teasing, building up the anticipation.
If your partner is enjoying the process so far, you can move your caresses in closer, towards the pubic mound, labia and perineum. To spike your partner’s interest, you might even run a single finger over the clitoris. But don’t jump in yet – make those touches light and teasing.
Hopefully by this point your partner should be becoming more and more aroused. If that’s the case, you can start zoning in on the areas they are responding to the most, being sure to make your touch more rhythmic and consistent as you go. You can do this by perhaps rubbing a finger back and forth, or tracing a circle. As always, it’s good to listen: use your partner’s words and cues as your roadmap.
Find her erogenous zones
Females have a lot of sensual areas of the body – none more so than the clitoris and the vagina. Part of learning how to finger her well involves understanding where her erogenous zones are. Once you know where pleasure points are on a female’s body, you can start to explore them to great effect. Spheres of pleasure exist across the female body. Some folks have foot fetishes, others are instantly turned on by having their ears stroked. Your lover may have intense sensations built up around parts of her body that are not obvious to you. These areas of heightened arousal are often called erogenous zones. There are lots of them, and they all can lead to ultimate pleasure. (You have them too, of course!). To find her erogenous zones, you can start by asking for her preferences. She might know them, in which case she can share them with you.
Check out our article on the 7 erogenous zones that bring you and her ultimate pleasure.
If she does not have any preferences, then you can explore them together. There are quite a number of zones to explore, each with a different optimal type of touch. Other common pleasure zones include the ears, the breasts, the thighs, and the buttocks.
Every woman is different, every zone is unique
Female sexual arousal is all about finding areas of her body that work best for her. Unspoken cues like physical movements, mouth sounds or breathing patterns will indicate whether she’s into it or not. And the nice thing about fingering during sex is that you can be rest assured her clitoris is one of her most erotic zones.
Warm her up
Before you even venture near her vulva, spend plenty of time teasing her and getting her excited for more contact. So many people (men especially) underestimate the lead-up, but many women say that the teasing is their favourite part of being fingered. Spend tons of time kissing her and playing with the rest of her body. Grind your body against her crotch. Take her pants off, but leave her underwear on. Run your palm up and down her labia. When you take her underwear off, continue using your entire hand to stroke against her labia, without parting them. Finally, part her labia with one fingertip, and continue that back and forth motion.
1. It’s More Than Sticking Your Finger In and Out
Remember, it’s what’s on the outside that counts. Specifically, we’re talking about the clit. One point echoed throughout the study was that the kind of “fingering” that actually brings women to orgasm is rubbing of the outside area around the clit. In fact, that’s how most women masturbate because it’s what actually feels the best. For the vast majority of women, penetration is nice, but it’s kind of like rubbing your balls – pleasant, but not going to make you come.
Explore her clitoris
Once she’s really enjoying herself, you can start focusing on her clitoris. Most women love clitoral stimulation, and need it to reach orgasm. Women tend to be divided into two very broad camps – women who like direct clitoral stimulation, and women who don’t. The clitoris is exquisitely sensitive, so some women feel more pleasure when it’s touched directly, and others feel more pleasure when it’s stimulated indirectly. Neither is “better” or “worse”; they’re simply personal preferences. It’s best to start with indirect stimulation. Start off by slowly circling her clitoris, without directly touching it. Make your circles tighter and tighter, until you start grazing against the clitoris. If she pulls away or tells you to be softer, stick with the indirect stimulation. If she likes the more direct stimulation, you can continue the circular motion directly over her clitoris. Or try stroking a finger diagonally across her clitoris.
Let’s Talk About Sex
Craving a little more intimacy? Grab a MasterClass Annual Membership and learn more about communicating openly with your partners, experimenting in the bedroom, and being your own best sexual advocate with a little help from Emily Morse (host of the wildly popular podcast Sex With Emily).
Once you figured out how to rub the right parts by learning the parts of the vulva, you can now dive deep with the internal parts of your partner’s genitalia, particularly with around the vagina. Once you know the right spots, it will be easy to learn the best ways on how to finger a girl.
It’s a tight and hollow tube that connects your partner’s vulva with her cervix and uterus. It might be tight at first but this tube is very stretchy and expands when you feel aroused. The vagina also has the different spots that can make your partner squrim with pleasure.
You’ve probably heard this a lot of times, but do you actually know where it is located? As seen in the diagram above, the G-spot is located about 2-3 inches inside the anterior wall of her vagina. It has subtle ridges that will be helpful when finding this spot. Just make sure you make her super horny first before rubbing this spot.
Looking for a deeper spot? Well, there’s the A-spot. As you can see in the diagram above, it’s located on the anterior wall by the cervix. Also known as the ‘deep spot’, you can assure powerful vaginal orgasms when this spot is stimulated. However, it can be pretty hard to reach with your fingers. Investing in sex toys such as or long vibrators or dildos may help you reach this spot.
As seen in the diagram above, this is located at the end of the vagina that divides your vagina and uterus. It’s very sensitive and may cause some pain when stimulated. However, some women find it pleasurable. That being said, communicate with your girl about this first before stimulating her cervix.
How To Finger Her To Squirt
Okay, now we’re really talking…
Because a female squirting orgasm is one of the most intense and satisfying orgasms a woman can possibly have.
And it’s something she’ll never forget, especially if it’s her first time squirting.
Perhaps you’re asking, what is squirting? Squirting is simply the term for female ejaculation.
The women who are lucky enough to have a partner who knows how to make them squirt report that the actual ejaculation process is like a massive physical and emotional release.
After all, imagine if you had sex and didn’t ejaculate. So it’s something worth taking your time to learn how to do.
In fact, fingering is only one of the ways you can make her juices flow and you can find out more about the others in our training course, but for now, let’s focus on using your fingers.
The most basic way to make her ejaculate is to take your two middle fingers and gently insert them inside her, palm facing upwards. With the other hand, take your first two fingers (make sure they’re wet with saliva) start to rub them back and forth gently against her clit.
With two middle fingers inside of her, start moving them up and down (not in and out) with the tips curled upwards towards her belly. This should be directly stimulating her g-spot.
If this sounds hard to recreate then I recommend watching our training videos where you’ll see the technique (and more advanced techniques) demonstrated live with a beautiful girl.
Learn How Women Finger Themselves
When girls masturbate they often take hours. Once the mood is set they enjoy the process of getting turned on and pleasuring themselves.
If a guy (you) knows how to do it right (and takes his time) it can be 10x better for her.
The trick is to build her arousal as high as possible, getting her turned on, gently rubbing her clit, kissing her entire body, talking dirty – that when it comes to inserting your fingers – she’s practically ready to explode with pleasure.
It’s best to insert just one finger first. Do it slowly, go in then pull back. Kiss and suck on her ear as you go in and whisper something naughty to her.
Bring more pleasure to the bedroom with fingering
Did you know that reaching orgasm for women is not as easy as it is for men? Men get off on penetration in part because the constant friction and tension helps them ejaculate. Not all women respond well to the more forceful back-and-forth of intercourse. In fact, a lot of women do not reach orgasms through intercourse. According to one study, only 6% of women said they always had an orgasm during intercourse. Even more surprising, as many as 14% of women under 35 reported never having an orgasm during intercourse. So if women are not orgasming during intercourse, where and how are they climaxing? Females usually climax through tender sensations around the clitoris. So if she’s not orgasming during intercourse then maybe her clitoris is not getting the attention it deserves! You can zero-in on her clitoris (and other erogenous zones) with fingering.
Fingering is a great part of foreplay
If you masturbate, you are aware of the sensual pleasure your hands and fingers can produce. Women learn how to finger themselves from their own masturbation experiences. Females know where their clitoris is, and how to best massage it to orgasm. But for men, learning how to please her with your hands generally takes some time. It’s not like you can go from being a virgin to knowing how to arouse your partner with smooth and sensual finger maneuvers overnight. Great things take time. Fingering usually takes place during foreplay, after you and your partner have kissed and cuddled, but before you have engaged in intercourse.
Manual stimulation can work in most positions. So as long as your hand can reach her vagina, and you’re comfortable, you should be fine.
A half spoon position can work well. As she lies on her back, lie on your side next to her. You can put your non-dominant hand under her neck so it doesn’t get trapped between you. And your dominant hand will be on top, so has complete freedom of movement to touch her.
I’d advise against standing positions or you lying between her legs in a traditional oral sex position. You’ll probably find your wrist cramps up from working at an awkward angle.
- Zack Zoetic – Interviews For International Transgender Day
- Buck Angel Interview – Celebrating The Trans Community
- Alyssa MacKenzie – Trans Advocate & Activist
- Alexandro Rox – Interview With The Duke Of Duality
- Hannah Simpson – Interviews Celebrating Transgender Diversity